Wednesday, December 13, 2017

About Wanda

Hello, my name is Wanda and I am passionate about many things. Most people find it hard to believe but I am an accountant. I was a business consultant for many years; and thoroughly enjoyed immersing myself in other people’s business. I guess some things never change.

After leaving a 16 year relationship I found myself navigating unchartered waters – I entered the relationship a girl and left a women and a mother. How does one date in their 30’s and beyond?  I did what I always do when facing a challenge, I picked up a book and read; I talked to everyone who would give me the time of day; I dated; had relationships; gathered a new circle of friends; found new interests and passions and created a big life.

Then in 2008 the opportunity buy Soul Mates came up. I was so excited and could hardly wait to get started. Through Soul Mates, I met the most amazing people and again learned so much about how people, particularly the 35+ crowd, felt about dating and relationships.

It was quite an eye opener. There was a lot of frailty, mixed with big doses of  bitterness, confusion, anger, frustration and fear amongst all these wonderful people who I was meeting. 

I met so many great men who had so much to offer in a relationship; but instead of seeking out a companion they hid and withdrew.. These men had been so battered and bruised by their previous relationships that they just didn’t have the courage to step up and do it again. So like little boys on the beach, they rush in, put their toe into the water then turn and run like hell when a wave came.  This was not an appealing quality in a man. I felt so sorry for woman, for me, if men found it easier or safer to stay single what were the women to do.

Then I met the women! If the men were frightened the women were equally bitter and angry. And oh my goodness, the sense of entitlement was a bit much. Men were reporting to me that women thought just showing up was sufficient to have attention being lavished on them; apparently women are goddesses now. The women reported that the men put their tail between there legs and bolted at a moments notice.

It became to clear to me what had happened. We have no undertstanding of the other and they have no understanding of  us. And somewhere along the way, we lost ourselves in the chaos of our lives. No ones needs were being met.  Somewhere along the line men withdrew and women got angry causing men to withdraw more which in turn angered women.  Total disrepect and intolerance was the outcome.  Not a good way to enter into the dating arena.

GOOD NEWS: Even given all of that both men and women are inextricably drawn to seek out romance, to find companionship, to find someone who needs them, who understands them and totally gets them.

“Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood”  Stephen Covey

My Philosophy – we have to get back to our true selves; figure out who we were before life’s little disappointments piled up on us and changed us. We need to figure out what our needs are as well as what we can bring to a relationship. Then we absolutely, with compassion and gentleness, must strive to understand the other. All the time hoping for that magic elixir – chemistry.

Methodology – Encourage you to get out there dating. The only way to learn about yourself and the opposite sex is to get out there and meet people. I help guide you through this learning process and I make it FUN. Life is too short not to have fun; we’ve paid our dues!

I absolutely love talking about relationships and the human condition. Give me a call or shoot me off an email if you want to chat.

“Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we might as well dance”