Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Where Are You?

June 4, 2011 by  
Filed under Dating Strategies

“People are where they are because that is exactly where they really want to be.” ~ E. Nightingale

Ouch, think about that one for a minute. If your love life isn’t firing on all cylinders is it because you have put yourself in that position?

The good news is you can make a different choice – you can choose to have a fun, meaningful relationship. But it means taking risks, putting yourself out there, being vulnerable.  This is not easy but you can do. Make small changes and slowly gain momentum.

The first thing I always tell clients – Put on your Teflon suit and let it slide right off you. No one likes rejection but unfortunately it is part and parcel with dating. But rather than internalize rejection and treat it as confirmation that you aren’t worth, switch it up and think of it as one step closer to finding a great, deep, fulfilling relationship. You can’t be all things to all people and you absolutely deserve to be with someone who is crazy about you.  So if someone rejects you say a quiet thank you and move on. I know, it drives you nuts, but don’t obsess – move forward. Let it all slide off you and enjoy the moment. There is someone for you!

 But if you can’t let it go and find yourself obsessing about the why then perhaps you need to do some more work. Do you really know yourself? Are you looking for someone with whom you are compatible? Can have fun with? Make a life with? Do you have a clear picture of who you are looking for and why?  Do you know what you can bring to a relationship? Please tell don’t tell me you are looking for someone to complete you. You need to be whole prior to embarking on the search for your soul mate. One of the best things about being single is that you have the luxury of focusing solely on yourself. You can really dig deep and figure out who you are and what you need and want out of life. Learn to accept your faults; laugh at them. But then embrace your strengths. The most desirable people in the world are those who understand themselves. They know who they are, they know what they want. They have confidence; but are willing to keep learning and digging.  

If you are doing something that you think is appealing to the opposite sex but isn’t really congruent with who you truly are then STOP IT.

If you are constantly seeking approval – STOP IT.

If you are hiding; please stop it. Come out of hiding and show yourself. We’d love to see you. If you are waiting until the stars align before embarking on this journey then stop waiting and just get out there. Don’t worry about those few extra pounds or wait until the children are grown and out of the house, or wait until you get that big promotion or wait until you can afford a better house or until… (fill in the blank). Don’t let life pass you by – be kind to yourself.

“Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”

Comments

2 Responses to “Where Are You?”
  1. David Grant says:

    Always good advice, particularly, although it is always easier said than done. These things only really get better with practice. Take care.

  2. Wanda says:

    Thanks David – absolutely easier said than done! But well worth the challenge.

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

*