Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Nice guy phenomenon – Do nice guys really finish last?

March 20, 2011 by  
Filed under Dating Strategies

Nice guy phenomenon – Do nice guys really finish last?

I’d like to think this is not true but we’ve all know those great guys who all the girls love to be friends with but would never date. Why is that?

Perhaps it’s because the nice guy is viewed as just that – “nice”. Nice and sweet makes for a good friend but not necessarily boyfriend or husband material. It’s not the nice part it’s the part that may be perceived as missing from the nice guy. Many women look for excitement, confidence, determination, energy and drive when they seek out a partner. The nice guy may be perceived as lacking those qualities.

I’m not an anthropologist, but women have historically sought men who could provide food, shelter and good genes. Kinder, gentler, more laid back men may not be perceived as a good provider and can be overlooked.

But there are a lot of women who want a kinder, softer man. Many women want a man “who is in touch with his feminine side”. So why aren’t they choosing the nice guy? Are they attracted to the strength of the confident, dominate male and then hope he will change? That’s a recipe for disaster.

If you are a “nice guy” and are having struggles finding a perfect partner there are a few things to keep in mind:

• Be yourself, if you’re a nice guy and you’re not having a lot of luck don’t try to be someone you aren’t. Keep focused on what you want and you will find your perfect one. Authenticity will always win.

• Don’t be afraid to express your confidence and opinions – give them a voice. “I don’t care”; “Whatever you want”; “You decide” feel weak. Most women appreciate having input but don’t always want to make all of the decisions. So jump in and make decisions, have opinions.

• If you are shy and insecure then do some personal growth work. Get to the root of your insecurities. Work on being a better version of you.

• Make sure you are meeting the right women; women who will appreciate your kind and gentle nature. Really define who you are looking for and then create a plan for meeting that type of women. Don’t leave you love life to chance.

• Stay positive – bitterness is not attractive on anyone.

Good luck out there; it’s not easy but well worth the journey. As always I appreciate any feedback you may have.

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