Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Stop Looking so Old & Drab!

May 7, 2011 by  
Filed under Dating Strategies

Hey Sister, what happened to you? You used to have love, joy, excitement in your life. You used to care how you looked. How did the life get sucked out of you? As I roam around I’m always shocked to see how drab some women in their 40’s and 50’s look. Others look absolutely stunning; so we know it’s possible. Which one are you?

I suspect that many of you spent the last 20 or 30 years taking care of others – husband, children, and parents. You probably played a role in your community, the children’s schools, your house was impeccable – you burned yourself out trying to hold it all together. Then your marriage dissolved and the children became more independent. It’s tough. And through out it all you slowly disappeared.

Good news – now it’s all about you! It’s your turn.

Take a look in the mirror – is this you? 

  •  Your clothes don’t fit well;
  • You’re carrying around a few too many pounds on your un-toned; un-used body;
  • Your hair streaked with grey, but your base colour is drab, your hair style is outdated;
  • Your clothes are drab, old and well worn;
  • Your shoulders are slumped like you’re carrying the weight of the world;
  • You look bone weary.
  • No one has flirted with you in years.

Men are attracted to joyful, happy, attractive women. The good news is attractiveness is relative; you are attractive to someone. But don’t make him search for “you” through the dour, frumpy woman you’ve become.  Men want a lover and companion, not a martry or mother figure.

Not to worry, the fix is easy. Take a mere one hour a day and make it about you.

  • Join a gym/dance class/yoga/running program – get your vitality back. It is imperative that you lose the extra weight, tone up and put a youthful spring in your walk. For fast results get a trainer; in as little as 6 weeks you will notice huge changes to your mind, body and spirit.It’s never too late to embrace fitness; your body will relish its new found strength and energy.   

  • Eat healthy – get healthy. Your skin, hair and nails are all a product of your diet. Eat poorly and it shows up everywhere on you. Healthy women are attractive women – they glow.
  • Get your hair done – if you are wearing an old lady hair style change it ASAP. Talk to a hair dresser; read magazines; find something that makes you look youthful not inappropriate. As we get older we can wear our hair long and flowing like when we were 20; but do not wear your hair too short and in a curly skull cap type look that our mother’s had back in the day. Keep it up-dated and change it up often. Experiment like you did when you were young.
  • Colour you hair – the older we get the lighter our hair should be so don’t go jet black but go natural with sun-kissed highlights. This will add to the glow you are creating through exercise and eating healthy.
  • Look at your wardrobe – if it’s all drab, old and worn get rid of it. Now is the time in life to invest in really good pieces. As we age we can really start to use colour to our advantage; we also not trying to be overly trendy so really good pieces are “almost” timeless. If your favourite jacket can be traced back over your working career it’s time to get rid of it.If you have the resources, hire a stylist. Striking the right balance can be difficult; we want to look stylish but not inappropriate. I always ask my daughter “Does this look like I’m trying too hard?”. Age appropriateness does not mean frumpy; but be aware that what looks great on a 20 something, may look appalling matronly on you. Your wardrobe should reflect you – your true essence.   

  • Skin – yes Mother Nature can be cruel but we don’t have to completely give up the battle. See a skin care specialist and try to find a way to get a healthy glow. But don’t go too far and end up looking like some of those Hollywood freaks; better to keep it natural. But there are some interesting treatments available.
  • It’s the little things that count – get pedicures and manicures, up-date your eye glasses. Make sure your jewelry is current and stylish. Accessorize and have fun.
  • Quit smoking – Smoking stinks, causes your skin to look drab, ages you, yellows your teeth and it generally unattractive.

“I am more than how I look”. Sorry but no one is going to be interested in finding out how wonderful you are deep down if you don’t look appealing on the surface. If you don’t care enough about yourself to take care of yourself then why should someone else?

 These are some of the outwardly changes you can make; but if your spirit has been damaged and the beaten and your old look is a result of life time weary then seek help. But changing your outside may help with your internal struggles – fake it until you make it.

Every day is a gift, if it’s a burden for you then you need to get to the root of it and get yourself fixed. Joy is attracted to joy; sadness attracts more sadness.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we might as well dance.


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